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I Now Pronounce You Paid In Full: Who Pays for What During the Wedding Celebrations
Courtesy of My Wedding Favors.
There’s no two ways about it: weddings are expensive. Paying for every detail is enough to drain any family’s financial coffers and – even worse – leave them wrestling with debt. Especially for new couples paying their own way during the wedding, the expenses quickly add up. The following is a traditional guide to dividing expenses equally and fairly among the four major participants in planning the four main parts of the wedding celebration: rehearsal dinner, ceremony, reception, and honeymoon. These are guidelines more than rules, and are intended to show tradition more than carved-in-stone etiquette.
Update and Words of Advice!
Having done this more than a few times, we strongly encourage you to NEVER EVER spend more than you can afford on your wedding! It simply is not worth it. No single day is worth years of shoveling out of debt. Your wedding will be special no matter how much or little you spend. We have attended weddings on the whole spectrum from black tie lavish to backyard bbq. All are equally special. All celebrations of love!
The Bride’s Family
There’s a popular misconception among the unmarried of the world that the bride’s family foots the entire bill. That’s not entirely true, though unfortunately it may feel that way for the parents of the bride! Traditionally, the bride’s family finances the reception dinner with all its facets: the food, drink, venue, service staff (including tips), flower arrangements, wedding favors, and any other miscellany. The bride’s family also pays for many of the necessities leading up to the ceremony: these usually include the bridal gown, the wedding invitations and save-the-date reminders, as well as the engagement and wedding photographs. Finally (!) the wedding ceremony costs, the photographer and videographer fees, the cost of the ring bearer and flower girl gifts and accessories, the transportation costs and bridesmaids bouquets are all picked up by the bride’s family. Honestly… if you’re the parent of a young girl, start saving right now.
But again, please please do not spend a penny more than you can comfortably afford! Set your budget and stick to it! No matter if your daughter gives you those beautiful begging eyes and especially not if she gives you those pouty looks.
Update!
Most recently, many many of our friends and colleagues who are parents of the groom, have offered to pay for half or more of the wedding. And the bride's parents did not hesitate to say yes, we are more than willing to share wedding finances! Its a new year and new traditions. And it is more than fine to embrace change!
The Bride
Compared to her family, the bride gets off relatively easy. Brides traditionally pay for the groom’s wedding band, gifts for her bridesmaids, the bridesmaids’ luncheon, her blood test fees, and the wedding day lingerie. In the strictest traditional sense, the bride can offer to pay for her out-of-town bridesmaids accommodations.
The Groom
Okay, guys. Time to pony up. Following the engagement ring (that two-month’s salary guideline is passé, by the way) you’ve still got a few things left to buy. You’ll pay for the honeymoon, the marriage license, and gifts for your groomsmen. The gentleman groom, however, also pays for the bridal bouquet and corsages for your mother and your new mother-in-law. You’ll also pick up the boutonnieres, ties, and accessories for the groomsmen, and finally the bride’s wedding ring. Gifts for the ushers and for your parents go the extra distance to showing your class. You should also pay the honorarium for the judge, justice of the peace, or clergyman who officiates the ceremony, too.
The Groom’s Family
Besides their own attire, the groom’s family is responsible for the rehearsal dinner and all its details. Additionally, they are responsible for any expenses incurred for a groomsmen suite and all the beverages and food consumed as the groom's side of the wedding party gets ready. Alternatively, they could pass these expenses on to either the groom himself, the best man, or split between all the groomsmen.
The Maid of Honor
Bachelorette parties and bridal showers are the responsibility of the maid of honor. This includes all the details, top to bottom. The actual costs are generally split between any bridesmaids or guests attending the bachelorette party. Wedding showers are often hosted by friends of the bride or even family and friends of the mothers of the bride and/or groom.
In recent years, co-ed celebrations are becoming increasingly popular. Embrace the trend! It is fun and can be advantages for your wedding finances since costs are split between even more people.
The Best Man
The best man is master of ceremonies and godfather of the bachelor party, from the planning to the execution to pouring all the guests into cabs at the end of the night. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it.
The Groomsmen and Bridesmaids
Most of the attire – for example, the tuxedo rental and costs of the gown – are the responsibility of the individual wedding party member. They also give a gift to the newlyweds. Groomsmen arriving from out-of-town are also expected to pay for their accommodations.
Party Hearty!
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